She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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