I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize