Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize
