No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
