dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
