I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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