Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
