Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
