Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize