I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
