I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
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