we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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