she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
