don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize