Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
