i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
