Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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