I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
