I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
