I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Alive.
So much puke
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
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