Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize