so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Randomize
