Its about making memories worth repressing
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Randomize
