I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
