why im i the only drunk person in the library?
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I am naked and annoyed.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
