census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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