Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
