I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
