Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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