we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
