Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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