i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
Randomize
