At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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