Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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