True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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