I cockslap morals
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Randomize
