Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
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