Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize
