I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
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