At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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