I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
