This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
