Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
