I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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