We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
