Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
