bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I know her cup size but not her name....
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
