I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
