haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize