well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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