You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Please don't give away my fajitas
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
