Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
