I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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