I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
In other news, I just burned my penis
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
