so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
