WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
