wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If I die, sorry about rent.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize