when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
