Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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