wrigley field is MILF paradise
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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