everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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