6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
