is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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