That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
