i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
