Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
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