I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
