Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
