I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
