I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
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