how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
