good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Randomize
