Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
It's not a walk of shame if you run
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
